development. . . . .

Well congratulations to me, and my wife: We are expecting a child!

                *                             *                                 * 

Seeing Teresa in a few days time. God she is so sexy. Just don’t know what to say to her. Certainly don’t what to stop seeing her. Can I have it all?

What would happen if...

Everybody suddenly stopped having affairs? Stopped cheating on one another?

The hotel and b&b industry would collapse. That's what would happen.

Guilt?

Last meet frankly not as good as last few times we have got together. Not to say I did not enjoy the hours upon  hours of rolling around in bed. Hours of kissing, licking, fucking. No I did enjoy that. Just me really. Could not quite relax as easily as other times we have met. Perhaps I am having feelings of guilt? In all honesty I really have no idea what was wrong with me. Just did not seem to be able to let go, have a laugh. We stayed in a beautiful room. More like a small apartment really. Everything was perfect apart from me.

Wish I could convey my feelings better although being unsure about them myself very difficult to describe. At home not much better either, quite moody, distracted. It is not right. Possibly my adventures cannot be without price? What with working full time, add on top overtime and now keeping a lover happy does not leave much room for anything else let alone my wife.

Do I need to pay wife more attention? Need to give more time for her? So important that no one gets hurt. Now I realise that this is not just about keeping my extra marital relationship secret, I need to keep a balance. Maybe it’s impossible to keep? I don’t know. Maybe some people are able to keep everything running smoothly?  Just that today I have my first doubts I am able to do this.

Maybe someone reading this may understand?

utter filth

Speaking to my wife recently on phone, from hotel room. Glancing up at Teresa, she is laid out on the hotel bed, naked, smiling at back at me.  Is there something to say about the pleasure one gets knowing that they are sleeping with someone’s husband/wife? She seemed pretty pleased with herself. She said after how she was tempted to start touching me as I had the conversation but resisted adding that she felt sorry more for my wife than her husband. How lovely.

Yes, now on our 3rd meet having crammed a couple of sneaky ones in between Christmas and a very quick hotel stay last night.. should this be considered too naughty? Must add that texting her whilst chatting to my Father in law on boxing day a possible new low for me.

Just so addictive. Have to be careful, so careful. Seems that what starts off as a couple of emails.. then texts.. at work only .. starts to escalate. Seems now the boundaries have been extended. Texting at home.. next to my wife while she sleeps, on Christmas day.. always pushing for our next encounter. Yes need to watch it!! 


Roll on this weekend for more depravity!  I mean work. Yes working in London and requires hotel stay over ;)

Wedding bells

Well unfortunately (for me) and for reasons not entire clear (to me), I have been chosen to "do a reading at a friends wedding in Brighton". (!!). In summer later this year. Text of such a reading unclear at this very point in time though will no doubt contain mention of how amazing it is to have found the perfect partner and further contain references to love and sharing and fidelity and trust and god know what other nonsense!!   

If you are reading this and you happen to be going to a wedding later this year - in Brighton, feel free to say hi! You never know I could be that person.

Though please, respectfully wait until I am not with my wife :)

hand job

...wife offered me a hand job this evening !! (gasp!)

That's is to say, whilst pulling herself up out of the couch, then declaring how utterly knackered she was said to me "I might be able to give you a hand job tonight but only if you come to bed now and that's all you're getting!!"

So I say to my wife.. Emma (don't think I have properly introduced my loved one yet!?? Yes, lovely Emma, my wife!) "well you could try and say it with some enthusiasm for me? maybe as if you actually wanted to give me the said hand job!!"

Making a grunting noise she continues to bed. 
Like some kind of pet of course I followed but should point out I never got the hand job.

:(
 
Meeting Teresa again on the 14th!! hooray!! Oh and by the way - happy new year and all that stuff...!

:)

...I have cheated on my wife

Sunday afternoon. 2 Hour drive. hotel. Very nervous. Bar. Meet Teresa. Room. Not much sleep. Ice cream at 1am. Shared shower. Bed. More not much sleep.

Monday morning. Shower. Tea. Breakfast. Room. Bed. Shower.  Slightly awkward. Home. Meet wife. Help put tree up. Feel a bit achy.

Sleep very soundly with a large smile on my face.

tick tock

 mmm slight delay in meeting Teresa. Nothing other than busy schedules (i hope) anyway we have arranged to meet this Sunday now!! (seems a bit close to Christmas - extra naughty points?) Anyway, very excited! Must say that whilst shopping with wifey earlier this morning my mind was one thousand miles away (well 350 to be exact). Seems that all I could think about was Teresa and meeting her and the hotel and how she would look in very sexy lingerie she has been promising.
Ahhh yes.. sexy lingerie.. yes those were the days I remember fondly. Yes I remember my wife and when she was actually interested in sex.. .now the mere mention or suggestion of her wearing a pair of stockings is met with “the look”. What the look is exactly is open to debate though my take on “the look” is something like the following:

You want me to wear that??! I am not a slut?! I don’t have to dress up for you anymore??! We don’t have to have sex any more, we are married!?!?

Anyway I digress, as I was saying.. only a few days (hopefully this time) to go and everything is now very much in place. My official reason for a night away is my good friend Peter. Yes Pete, not seen him for a while (he lives in Norwich) about time I popped up to see him for a night! Although hesitated at first took the decision to speak to Pete about my weekend of sinful lust and how and exactly how and why I had woven him into my web of lies. (he’s fine with it)

One note to any readers, lying is not something that is very natural to me in fact if anyone has any tips would be great to hear from you!

OOOOoo First date!

OOOOoo First date!

Very exciting! Looks like yours truly has first date lined up! In fact this will be first meet with a woman other than my wife for about 7 years!!! Yes. You could say that I am rather excited about it.

Her name is Teresa. We have been chatting now for the past few weeks or so.. a lot. Almost every night... then texting.. then swapping pictures (yes this was a rather tense moment indeed, the first submission of a photo does indeed require a leap of faith) Anyway we seemed to have kinda “hit it off” in the cyber sense, although generally speaking messages did start to get rather filthy after ... I don’t know... the first initial hour of messaging... Absolute filth.

Problem? She lives 350 miles away!

No matter. Hotel is booked for 1 week from now! 

Jamie S

21:39 Wife asleep

Ok, so exactly how is a 34 married man expected to spend his evenings these days? Play games on a Playstation/Xbox? Watch Top Gear repeats on Dave? I know for sure what how I would sooner be spending my time.

Of course I guess I could give my mates a call, maybe go the pub, have a few beers. Trouble is, hanging out with desperately single guys & other, less fortunate attched friends (!) in their mid 30's (still thinking they are in their 20's) just don’t do it for me anymore. Listening to everyone moan about their desperate lives and whining about how little sex they get from their girlfriends or wives starting to get a bit tiresome. 

General discussion: (If they are married or with girlfriend) seems to revolve about lack of time/ everyone to tired/wife moody/not had sex for months etc.. if I am with am with single friends discussion seems to be: not enough time to get a girl/working too hard-too tired/not had sex for months!! Crazy. And not to mention poor Tom who has slept in the spare room for past 2 years. You read that right - 2 years!! Yes I must not mention Tom.

Must say, seems very strange to me. Myself, married and fast approaching 35, with friends around me in similar situations, we seem to have all developed something in common. Not sure if I am over stating this for effect for the blog (don’t think I am) but seems that there is a certain lack of... passion. Yes. The passion has GONE!! Passion for what i hear you ask? Hopefully not passion for life?!?  NOOOoooo

Horny wives everywhere!

Ok well maybe not everywhere but certainly in abundance, at least on the internet.  My wife has been busy bee last few days working at her office leaving me all alone at home to be a good husband. Maybe put up a shelf or paint a wall or something....

Well honestly, what else am I to do but take a look for hot sexy wives online? In fact I am looking for persons with the exact same agenda to myself online. That is to say, I consider myself:  a fit, horny, sex deprived (yet happily married) man. And thus my ideal match would be a fit, horny, sex deprived woman. Simple.

Anyway as I have said it appears that there is no shortage!! So having a little look around, a mail here, another one there... seems that I now have a couple of contacts... and they appear to be Human as well! Very normal in fact... of course a bit hornier than say the run of the mill women that I meet daily say in the office... but hey I’m not complaining!

Seems that indeed I have discovered (or possibly fallen into) a secret world of deceit and deception. Lies and secrets.  Betrayal and.. ok you get the message.

Soooo what now? The answer: I have no idea.

Jamie S

Hello to all that wish to read...

Ok so this is my blog... my story, my means of release(or so I hope) ..a way to unburden myself and my mind from married life in the 21st century.

In the middle of my 30's, have been married for 6 years (or is that 7 never quite sure) and life is good. Well, that is to say that I have a lovely wife and a lovely house. I work in finance for a secure company in a secure job in London. I have a nice car, a superb dishwasher, have good friends& family.

However something is missing. What could possibly be missing? I do not know.

Of course having "something missing" in your life I do not consider generally healthy. Could it be that married life is the cause of such a void? Something I find very intriguing is the possibility that my marriage, (you know the thing people do to feel happy, feel wanted and secure) is in fact the cause of my current dismay.

When I met my wife I was in my mid to late 20's. Was at my peak of confidence, living with a now ex-friend (that’s another story to be shared ..maybe).. times were good. Very little in the way of responsibility, and more than enough money enabled me to live life as I wished..

Then we met. Things were great to begin with. Not spectacular but ..great. She was dependable calm, clear headed, sensible. After a few weeks I remember calling time on what I thought to be a short relationship.

As if it was yesterday can remember the conversation which mostly comprised of her crying and me telling her "it's me, not you". (very cliché I know) Then something happened during this conversation. She started to question my goal in life. She started to question me and where I was heading.

Like a fool I listened. The following year we were married. Husband and Wife.

Now here I sit alone. Trying to make some sense or where I am now and what I am doing.

One thing I do know; I need to get my life back. I need excitement. I need to reclaim my life. I do love my wife. But I no longer think that is enough.

Jamie S